Tartan Army Songs

This page contains numerous songs sung by the Tartan Army. There are lots, of course, and the best ones often appear from nowhere, fuelled by unjustifiable enthusiasm and copious amounts of strong drink. I have tried to be accurate about the people who penned these. Any corrections, further information about the origins (especially the Tartan Army origins) should be sent to Findlay. There are occasional links within the page which will allow you to find and play the music for these songs. New songs are, of course, welcome. Enjoy it ! Findlay.
 

The contents are as follows :

1. Tartan Army Faves

Doh a deer
We are coming
Gay Paree
Tartan Barmy ***new song - must be learned!***
The Flower of Scotland
Scots, wha hae
The hokey cokey
Big Kilmarnock Bonnet, a la Parisienne
Cheese and biscuits
Always on the spree
Everywhere we go

2. What We Sang On Our Holidays

3. Chants and Ditties

4. Woolly-bearded Folkie Songs

Bonnie Dundee
Twa Recruitin' Sergeants
The bonny banks of Loch Lomond
I will go
Scotland the Brave
Wild mountain thyme
Caledonia
The Flowers of the Forest

5. Tales of daring-do and perfidy

Happy hooligans of Wembley
Scotland in Estonia

6. Our Great Caledonian Musical Heritage - Songs of World Cups Past

7. Songs For The Troops Fae the Touns
 

8. Some Links

9. and finally, don't let's be beastly to the English




1. Tartan Army Faves
Let's start at the very beginning, as Julie Andrews famously said in "The Sound of Music". First sung, I believe, by the Tartan Army in Vienna after an Austrian newspaper commented that the Scots liked to sing and "tonight we will hear the sound of music". The Tartan Army thanks Messrs Rogers and Hammerstein for their helpful contribution to the cause.

Doh A Deer

Doh, a deer, a female deer,
Ray, a drop of golden sun,
Me, a name I call myself,
Fah, a long, long, way to run,
Soh, a needle puling thread,
Lah, a note to follow soh,
Tee, a drink with jam and bread
And that brings us back to doh, oh, oh, oh...
Then repeat until you cannot sing any more

Then moving swiftly on.....

We are coming, we are coming,
We are coming down the road.
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army boys
We'll be coming down the road
.... and so on...

....and then

Gay Paree, gay Paree,
We're the famous Tartan Army
And we're off to gay Paree.
Replace 'Gay Paree' with name of city (e.g. Wembellee) or country being visited.

on the same theme....

Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be will be,
We're going to Gay Paree,
Que sera, sera


Tartan Barmy

This great new song was composed by Alasdair MacIver. It's a work of genius inspired by the summer festivities in France. We are abitrarilly adopting it as the anthem for the Tartan Army. Get in practice, there's not much time to the next match. The tune is "Bonnie Dundee"

There's some think we're crazy, there's some think we're daft,
But win, lose or draw we will have the last laugh,
We'll never forsake you, back you to the hilt,
With a skirl o' the pipes and a swing o' the kilt.

Chorus - Come lift up your cup, come lift up your can,
Resplendant in tartan, every loyal fan,
We go all o'er Europe and drink the pubs dry,
Oh, there's nobody like us, we're Scots you and I

So dust down your bunnet and buckle your belt,
Lace your brogues tightly and straighten your kilt,
There's beer to be drunk and there's songs to be sung,
Our fame it precedes us, the night is yet young. (Ch)

The thistle's our flower, the Saltire our flag,
Our lion stands rampant - there's only one snag,
We're better at singing than kicking a ball,
We're everyone's friends but we'll n'er win fuck all. (Ch)

So wherever you wander be sure and stand tall,
Keep a smile and a handshake to greet one and all,
And whatever befalls us there's one thing that's sure,
We've gone Tartan Barmy and there is no cure. (Ch)


The Flower of Scotland

Written by Roy Williamson of the Corries, who sadly died a few years ago. It has been sung for us before matches by Ronnie Browne (the other half of the Corries) and Fish (of Marillion and the seaside). Whilst politicians tell us we can't have National Anthem for Scotland because it might offend the Queen, the people keep singing this song. Normally verses 1 and 3 are sung. There is a Corries HomePage here at http://www.corries.com/ where you can hear them sing the first verse of the song.

O flower of Scotland,
When will we see,
Your like again
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit hill and glen
And stood against him,
Proud Edward's army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.

The hills are bare now
And autumn's leaves lie thick and still,
Oe'r land that is lost now,
Which those so dearly held,
That stood against him...

Those days are past now,
And in the past they must remain,
But we can still rise now
And be the nation again,
That stood against him...

Robert Bruce's March to Bannockburn (Scots, wha hae)

Robert Burns wrote this on hearing that the tune "Hey Tuttie Taitie" was used by Bruce for the march past of the Scottish army at Bannockburn. The tune is claimed to be the oldest piece of Scottish music and was played by Scots in the army of Joan d'Arc at the relief of Orleans in 1429. No prizes for guessing which of our near neighbours were the unwelcome guests. It has since been used as a martial tune by the French (La Marche des les Soldats de Robert de Brus). In the original printed version of the poem, the tune is given as 'Lewie Gordon'. Link to http://ingeb.org/songs/scotswha.html which has a midi of the tune itself.

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has often led,
Welcome to your gory bed, -
Or to victorie,-

Now's the day, and now's the hour,
See the front o' battle lour;
See approach proud Edward's power,
Chains and Slaverie. -

Wha will be a traitor-knave?
Wha can fill a coward's grave?
Wha sae base as be a Slave?
- Let him turn and flie: -

Wha for Scotland's king and law,
Freedom's sword will strongly draw,
Free-man stand, or free-man fa',
Let him follow me. -

By Oppression's woes and pains!
By your Sons in servile chains!
We will drain our dearest veins,
But they shall be free!

Lay the proud Usurpers low!
Tyrants fall in every foe!
Liberty's in every blow!
Let us do - or die!

The Hokey Cokey

A special little number from down South American way. Well, actually, it originated in Sweden when the poetic muse descended upon Tom McEwan, Kenny Duffy, Danny McEwan, Eric Foy, Robert McHarg, Joe Miller and Alister Gillander whilst having a piss outside of Norrkoping. Tom McEwan tells me he has many more verses, but considering the activity in which they were engaged in at the time of composition, I dread to think what they were sticking where next. There is a proverb which says that one shouldn't laugh at others misfortune, however this one has slipped through ...

You put your left hand in,
You put your left hand out,
You put your left hand in and you shake it all about,
You do the hokey cokey and you score a goal,
That's what it's all about,
Oh, Diego Maradona,
Oh, Diego Maradona,
Oh, Diego Maradona,
He put the English OUT, OUT, OUT!

Cheese and Biscuits

... as sung by the Tartan Army advance during the France98 World Cup.

We love cheese and biscuits,
We love horsemeat too,
We love Michel Platini,
La France we love you.

An alternative version of this is...

We love Brigitte Bardot,
We love champagne too
We love Michel Platini,
Les Francais we love you

Everywhere We Go ...

Everywhere we go
People want to know
Who we are
So we're gonna tell them
We're mental and we're barmy
We're the famous Tartan Army
Ooooooh
Ooooooh
Oooh Scotland (nanananana)
Scotland
I'd walk a million miles
For one of your goals
Oh Scotland

Sent in on behalf of The Fraser Bowl (Glenrothes) branch of the Tartan Army (Paul, Chas, John, Sean, Craig, Les and Stan).

The Colours of Scotland

This song is written by George Ewen who also has an original tune for it. He would like it as our song for the World Cup and here at the TAHP Songbook, we're backing him. If any of the powers that be at the SFA, or budding songsters and record companies want to get in touch with George, contact us. It's got to be better than having another awful effort from Rod Stewart (unless Rod wants to sing this?). This song is copyright of George Ewen, so don't go nicking it. If you want to sing it, get in touch with George who will provide you with music and all that technical stuff.

We sing of the land we are happy is ours,
From the Borders on through to Orkney and Shetland,
Greeting the Lowlands and Highlands, along
With all the Hebrides.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
Your 'FLOWER' is blooming from mountain to shore.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
We will gladly praise your beauty evermore.

We'll thrill to the wind off the sea on our face
When we sail for France with the Tartan Army,
Cheering our country and raising our team
To play as Soccer's best.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
As loyal supporters our pride is your name.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
On and off the field we'll play a bonny game.

We'll welcome the hour and the challenge it brings
With a Wallace heart in a brave endeavour,
Lifting our spirits, as facing our flag
We pledge to give our all.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
The Lion is Rampant, the Saltire is blest.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
'LET US DO' with valour in a fair contest.
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
The red on the yellow, or the white cross on the blue,
SCOTLAND, O SCOTLAND,
We will strive to win the day and honour you.


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2. What We Sang On Our 1998 Holidays in France
There's only one...

Well, the girlie did look very young...

There's only one ... Ronaldo,
There's only one ... Ronaldo,
With a packet of sweets,
And a cheeky smile,
Ronaldo is a f*ckin' ....

Disclaimer
This chant is reprinted purely as a matter of historical record and the Tartan Army Home Pages categorically state
their respect for Mr Ronaldo and the Brazil squad. He does have a cheeky smile though.

In sunny Bordeaux

A grand time was had in this beautiful city. We regaled the Norwegians with...

Sing when you're whaling,
You only sing when you're whaling,
Sing when you're whaling,
You only sing when you're whaling.

...and we revived this popular song from a previous expedition to the Faroe Isles (see Andy McArthur's book, "OTT with the Tartan Army" for the origins)

Save the whales,
Save the whales,
We're the famous Tartan Army
And we're here to save the whales.

Frere Jacques

There were lots of versions of Frere Jacques drifting in the sunshine in St Etienne

Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,
Norway drew, Norway drew,
Gaunnae beat Morocco, gaunnae beat Morocco
We're gaun' through, we're gaun through.

this was later amended to...

Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,
Norway drew, Norway drew,
Beaten by Morocco, beaten by Morocco,
We're stuffed noo, we're stuffed noo.

Words of encouragement for other countries

We love Gauchos and Incas,
We love Diego too (he's GREAT!),
We love Eva Peron,
Argentina we love you.

Brother Batty, Brother Batty,
Missez-vous, missez vous,
Sunny Argentina, sunny Argentina,
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha.


...and the prize for the greatest dose of unjustifiable optimism goes to Gordon Collins who was singing this

We've got the World Cup in our hands,
We've got the World Cup in our hands,
We've got the World Cup in our hands,
We've got the World Cup in our hands.
(and obviously that's to the tune of "We've got the whole world in our hands")

And on to pastures new...

Tokyo, Tokyo,
We're the famous Tartan Army
And we're off to Tokyo...



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3. Chants and Ditties
Wembley, Wembley,
Was the finest pitch in Europe till we took it all away,
Wembley......

We love you Scotland we do,
We love you Scotland we do,
We love you Scotland we do,
Oh Scotlande love you.

AWAY IN A MANGER
NO ROOM FOR A BED
THE LITTLE LORD JESUS
LAY DOWN AND HE SAID....
Oooooooh Scotland (nanananana)
Scotland
I'd walk a million miles
For one of your goals
Oh Scotland

From Campbell Anderson, this is a favourite of the Campbeltown Tartan Army and was first sung in the pub and on the bus prior to the Latvia match. It goes to the tune of "D.I.S.C.O." (I seem to remember a version that went D.I.L.D.O., but that's another matter altogether.)

We are S.C.O.T.S
We are S.C.O.T.S
We are S.C.O.T.S
We are S.C.O.T.S

We are S. Some supporters
We are C. Completely barmy
We are O. On the bevvy
We're the T. Tartan army
We are So, oh, oh

We are S.C.O.T.S etc. etc. etc. ........

And some pearls of wisdom from fae Billy !?
It is good that you include the words to "Scotland the Brave" 'cause nobody knows them. While these songs are traditionally Scottish they are very modern in respect to their appearance on the terracings. I would like to see more traditional songs on your page as follows:

Wheres yir Faither, Referee
Wheres yir Faither
Wheres yir Faither
Wheres yir Faither, Referee
Yi havna got one
Yi havna got one
Yir a bastard, referree

Some advice on chariots...

The lovely Emma Palmer reminded me of this helpful advice offered to our near neighbours who insist on murdering the splendid spiritual "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"

You can stick your fucking chariots up your arse...

Ditties From Minsk ...

We're not 30 we're section 29
We drink vodka and bottles of wine
Meths and beer and turpentine
We're section 29.
lyrics by Bruce Fyffe

Theres a moose loose aboot Belaroos !
Note: a moose is a wee rodent that likes living behind skirting boards, etc. - not a great big hairy thing the size of a horse with pointy bits coming out of its head.

And after all, we're gaunny win fuck all .....
... to be sung to the tune of Oasis chart topper 'Wonderwall'


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4. Some woolly-bearded folkie stuff that we sing when we're feeling grand, jovial, homesick or maudlin. These moods often come hard on the heels of each other showing that our personalities reflect our weather. This selection has been enhanced by the comments of Alexander James McNaught MacGregor (aka Dair) and the efforts of his secretary
Bonny Dundee
This, claims Dair, is easily the best folk song ever and he may well be right. Fine strong tune, rousing chorus, etc. Dundee of the song was John Graham of Claverhouse, Viscount Dundee, also known as Bloody Clavers (a nickname he acquired for his role against the Covenanters). Dundee led the Jacobite army that was victorious at Killiecrankie in 1689, although he was killed in the battle. These words were written by Sir Walter Scott in 1825 and published five years later in "The Doom of Devergoil". There are many more verses but these are the ones most commonly sung. There is an older version called "Jockey's Escape From Dundee". The tune is reputed to have been written by Charlotte Dolby, an English contralto. So there you go. One of our finest songs has an air composed by a Sassenach.

To the Lords of convention 'twas Claverhouse spoke,
Ere the King's crown go down there are crowns to be broke,
So each cavalier that loves honour and me
Let him follow the bonnets o bonnie Dundee.

Chorus - Come fill up my cup, come fill up my can,
Come saddle my horses and call up my men,
unhook the west port and let us gae free
for its up with the bonnets o' Bonnie Dundee.

Dundee he is mounted, he rides up the street,
The bells they ring backward, the drums they are beat,
But the provost (douce man) said: "Just e'en let it be,
For the toun is weel rid o' that deil o' Dundee! (Ch)

There are hills beyond Pentland, and lands beyond Forth
Be there lords in the south, there are chiefs in the north
There are brave Duinnewassals three thousand times three
Will cry: "Hey for the bonnets o' Bonnie Dundee." (Ch)

Then awa to the hills, to the lea, to the rocks,
Ere I own a usurper I'll couch with the fox;
And tremble, false Whigs in the midst of your glee
Ye hae no seen the last of o' my bonnets and me. (Ch)

Twa Recruitin' Sergeants

A great song this one. These are the words as sung by the incomparable Jeannie Robertson. Its origins would seem to suggest that it was written at the time of the Peninsular War, but the earliest version I know of involves Queen Victoria in the chorus. The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that the title of the first chapter of Andrew McArthur's book (OTT with the Tartan Army) comes from the chorus below.

Twa recruitin' sairgants cam frae the black watch,
To markets and fairs some recruits for to catch,
An' a' that they listed was for forty an' twa,
So list my bonnie laddie an' come awa,

Ch. - It is over the mountains, and over the main,
Through Gibraltar to France and Spain,
Get a feather tae your bonnet, and a kilt abeen your knee
An' list bonnie laddie an' come awa wi me

Oh laddie, ye dinna ken the danger that ye're in,
If your horses wis to fleg an' your ousen wis to rin.
This greedy auld fairmer winna pey your fee,
So list bonnie laddie an' come awa wi me (Ch)

It is intae the barn an' oot o' the byre,
This auld fairmer thinks ye'll never tire,
For it's a slavery job of low degree,
So list bonnie laddie an' come awa wi me. (Ch)

Wi your tatty poorin,s an' your meal an' kail,
Your soor sowen soorins an' your ill-brewed ale,
Wi your buttermilk and whey an' your breid fired raw,
So list bonnie laddie an' come come awa. (Ch)

Oh, laddie if ye've got a sweetheart an' bairn,
Ye'll easily get rid o' that ill-spun yarn,
Twa rattles o' the drum an that'll pey it a',
So list bonnie laddie an' come awa.

The Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond

If this song doesn't move you, you have a heart of stone and you probably don't even get all emotional when you think of Archie Gemmill's goal against the Netherlands in 1978. There is a different version of this written by Matt McGinn, but with the same sentiments. The 'high road' is the way home for the living. The 'low road' is the path taken by the spirits of the Scots when we die if we are not in Scotland. We will all return one day. The song remembers the bloody aftermath, murder and deportation, of Culloden. Follow this link to a site which will give you the tune http://ingeb.org/songs/byyonbon.html

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.

Chorus:
For you'll take the high road and I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye ....,
Where me and my true love will never meet again
By the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Twas there we parted in yon shady glen,
On the steep, steep side of Ben Lomond,
Where in purple hue the Hieland hills we view
An' the moon comin' out in the gloamin'. (Ch)

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring,
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping
But the broken heart it knows no second spring
Tho' the waefu' may cease frae their greetin'. (Ch)

I Will Go

A great favourite from those old Corries albums. This sounds great with a bodhran accompaniment, so get beatin...

Chorus
I will go, I will go
When the fighting is over,
To the land o' McLeod,
That I left to be a soldier,
I will go, I will go.

When the King's son came along,
He called us a' together,
Saying "Brave Highland men,
Will you fight for my father?"
I will go, I will go. (Ch)

I've a buckle on my belt,
A sword in my scabbard,
A red coat on my back
And a shilling in my pocket,
I will go, I will go. (Ch)

When they put us all on board,
The lassies were singing,
But the tears came tae their eyes,
When the bells started ringing,
I will go, I will go. (Ch)

When we landed on the shore,
And we saw the foreign heather,
We knew that some would fall
And would stay there for ever,
I will go, I will go. (Ch)

When we got back to the glen,
The winter was turning,
Our goods lay in the snow
And our houses were burning,
I will go I will go. (Ch)

Scotland The Brave

Written by Clifford Hanley, the big question is, was he taking the piss? For a while it was played before our games as a sort of national anthem. Follow this link to a site that will give you the tune http://ingeb.org/songs/harkwhen.html No one knew the words and it induced a sort of mass pogo-dance on the terraces. I have to say this looked quite good. The matter of its suitability for such occasions was finally resolved when the ever hospitable Swedes laid on a choir to sing it before our games in the 1992 European Championships. The effect was even more ridiculous than some of the 'away' strips that Umbro has supplied for us over the years. The lyrics are offered here as a matter of historical record.

Hark where the night is falling
Hark hear the pipes a calling
Loudly and proudly calling down thru the glen
There where the hills are sleeping
Now feel the blood a leaping
High as the spirits of the old highland men

Towering in gallant fame
Scotland my mountain hame
High may your proud standards gloriously wave
Land of my high endeavor
Land of the shining river
Land of my heart forever, Scotland the Brave

High in the misty mountains
Out by the purple highlands
Brave are the hearts that beat beneath Scottish skies
Wild are the winds to meet you
Staunch are the friends that greet you
Kind as the love that shines from fair maidens eyes

The Wild Mountain Thyme

This song is sometimes credited to F McPeake, one of a family of singers from Belfast. This is said to be an Irish version of an older Scottish song called "The Braes of Balquhidder" which was written by Robert Tannahill, a weaver from Paisley. Follow this link to a site that will give you the tune http://ingeb.org/songs/othesumm.html

O the summer time is coming
And the trees are sweetly blooming
And the wild mountain thyme grows
Around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go

Chorus:
And we'll all go together,
To pluck wild mountain thyme,
All around the blooming heather,
Will ye go lassie go ?

I will build my love a tower
Near yon pure crystal fountain
And on it I will pile
All the wild flowers of the mountain
Will ye go lassie go ? (Ch)

If my true love she were gone
I would surely find another
Where wild mountain thyme
Grows around the blooming heather
Will ye go lassie go ? (Ch)

Repeat verse 1 and chorus

Caledonia

This great song was written by Dougie MacLean, one of our finest singer/songwriters. Many people will remeber the version sung by Frankie Miller which was used in an advert for a well known brand of Scottish lager some years ago.This was withdrawn at the time of the 1992 general election as the "powers that be" felt there might be a political message in the song. The truth is that it is genuinely a homesick song written by Dougie while in France. It originally appeared on the album "Craigie Dhu" which was released in 1983. The verion below is how Dougie MacLean sings the song now. I am grateful to Margaret Newstead at Dunkeld Records for her help. (Go to their site in the Links section and buy yourself a Dougie MacLean CD!)

I don't know if you can see the changes
that have come over me
In these last few days I've been afraid that
I might drift away
I've been telling old stories, singing songs that make me
think about where I come from
And that's the reason why I seem so far away today

Chorus
Let me tell you that I love you and I think
about you all the time
Caledonia, you're calling me and now I'm going home
For if I should become a stranger you know that it would
make me more than sad
Caledonia's been everything I've ever had

I have moved on and I've kept on moving - proved the points
that I needed proving
Lost the friends that I needed losing - found others
on the way
I have kissed the ladies and left them crying - stolen
dreams, yes there's no denying
I have travelled hard, sometimes with conscience flying,
somewhere with the wind (Ch)

Now I'm sitting here before the fire, the empty room,
the forest choir
The flames that couldn't get any higher - they've withered
now they've gone
But I'm steady thinking, my way is clear and I know
what I will do tomorrow
When the hands have shaken and the kisses flowed
then I will disappear

"Caledonia" - written and composed by Dougie MacLean.
Published by Limetree Arts & Music (MCPS/PRS UK).

The Flowers of the Forest

This is the saddest song. It commemorates the Battle of Flodden in 1513. Scotland's ally France had been invaded by England and was in dire peril. Henry VIII of England was in alliance with the Holy League (the Pope, the King of Spain and the Doge of Venice). Scotland came to France's aid and invaded England. We were devastatingly defeated at Flodden. Some 10,000 of our finest young men were killed along with James IV, his son, nine earls, fourteen lords, many Highland chieftans, the Archbishop of St Andrews, the Bishop of Caithness, the Bishop of the Isles, the Dean of Glasgow and the Provost of Edinburgh. It is said that not a household in Scotland was unaffected by the disaster. Scotland experienced something similar when, in 1940 at the fall of France, Churchill refused to allow the evacuation of the Highland Division who had so valiantly fought the rearguard at Dunkirk. The song was written by Jean Elliot who used the first two lines of an older vesion. The forest referred to is Ettrick Forest.

I've heard them lilting at our yowe-milking,
Lasses a'liltin' before the dawn o' day;
But now they are moaning on ilka green loaning, -
The Flowers of the Forest are a' wede away.

At buchts, in the morning, nae blythe lads are scorning,
The lasses are lonely and dowie, and wae;
Nae daffin, nae gabbin', but sighing and sabbing,
Ilk ane lifts her leglen and hies her away.

In hairst, at the shearing, nae youths now are jeering,
The bandsters are lyart, and runkled and grey:
At fair, or at preaching, nae wooing, nae fleeching, -
The Flowers of the Forest are a' wede away.

At e'en in the gloaming, nae swankies are roaming
'Bout stacks wi' the lasses at bogle to play;
But ilk ane sits drearie, lamenting her dearie, -
The Flowers of the Forest are a' wede away.

Dule and wae for the order sent our lads to the Border!
The English, for ance, by guile wan the day;
The Flowers of The Forest, that foucht aye the foremost, -
The prime o' our land, are cauld in the clay.

We'll hear nae mair lilting at the yowe-milking,
Women and bairns are heartless and wae;
Sighing and moaning on ilka green loaning, -
The Flowers of the Forest are a' wede away.


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5. More matters of historical record, daring deeds and perfidious behaviour?
Happy Hooligans o' Wembley

This song was written by Gordon Menzies of Gaberlunzie (see links), a band that has been going for some years and 15 albums. It appears on "Scotland Again".

Oh, I wear a Tartan Bunnet and a scarf around my throat
And I can sing the Flower of Scotland every single note.
For were gan doon tae London toun
Tae paralyse the undergroond
And were just the happy hooligans of Wembley

Chorus
So it's o'er the border if ye dare
And doon tae London for a tear
We're just the happy hooligans of Wembley

When Scotland's playing England oh it really fills my heart
Wi' a' the flags and banners aye we surely look the part
But win or loose it's aw the same
We didnae come tae see the game
We're just the happy hooligans o' Wembley

Oh there's forty in my party, aye and that's including me
We havnae a' got tickets, in fact we've only three.
And three will win the lucky draw,
The rest'll be climbing o'er the wa'
We're just the happy hooligans o' Wembley

We're going to see how many pints that we can sink away
We're going drink auld London dry, we'll drink it dry today
And before we've even seen a baw
We'll piss it up against the wa'
We're just the happy hooligans o' Wembley

And now the fun is over and we've finished aw the beer
We couldnae go back tae Scotland withoot a souvenir
So maybe for a wee bit lark
We'll dig up half o' Wembley park
We're just the happy hooligans o' Wembley

Now we're back in Scotland after all the deeds are done
We dinnae really give a damn if Scotland lost or won
For we met the English had our fun
Reminded them o' Bannockburn
We're just the Happy hooligans of Wembley

Scotland in Estonia (POEM)

In Tallinn the Old Town, by Raekoja Plats square
The skirl of the pipes could be heard in the air
At Kaddriorg Park, the justice was cruel
FIFA decided to change all their rules

The meeting was final with a decision agreed
Chaired by Johansson, group rivals, a Swede
How can they treat great fans in this way
We've seen all their placards that proclaim fair play !

Through Denmark and Finland and Baltic seaways
The Loyal Tartan Army, had travelled for days
One week and more, in Estonia they stayed
In hotels and bars, they boosted the trade

Scotland in Estonia, what a strange game
Three seconds of glory and fame
We travel the world, to see football played
With FIFA in charge, the price that we paid

Copyright Stuart Logan, 1996
Sent to FIFA by FAX in protest about the decision that Scotland should have to replay against Estonia after the Estonians failed to turn up for the orginal match.




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6. Our Great Caledonian Musical Heritage
By popular demand, this section records previous Scottish World Cup songs. In 1974 we ushered in our new footballing dawn with "Yaba Daba Doo, We Support The Boys In Blue" (see below). Then, in 1978, we had the age of Ally. Officially, we had Rod Stewart's effort which had no sense of rhyme or metre and, if I remember correctly, included the chorus, "Oh bla di, oh bla da, we're going to bring that World Cup back from ova tha". But this was the era of Punk Rock and independent record labels and along came "Ally's Tartan Army". The 1980s gave us a motley selection of bods, most of whom I can't remember, but fronted by John Gordon Sinclair (of "Gregory's Girl" fame) singing, "I have a dream". And quite good it was too, featuring the tortured dreams and fevered imaginings of a teenage boy scoring. (For Scotland. Don't be so smutty.) The footballing equivalent of a Stephen King novel. Strangely, I can't remember any song from the 1980s suggesting that we would be kicked off the pitch by a bunch of thugs who purported to represent Uruguay and who should have been put out of the tournament promptly. In 1990 we had Ricky Ross (of Deacon Blue) et al telling us that the "lion would roar in the sun". This song was the converse of the Costa Rican song, "The Scottish lion is a pussy cat and we'll give it a right good hump".
A rip-roaringly good CD with lots of these infamous songs is available from Cherry Red Records. Go into your hip and trendy recorded music outlet and ask for, "The Tartan Army - Scottish World Cup Anthems" (CD Gaffer 26). Alternatively, go straight to the record company at http://www.demon.co.uk/cherryred/ and they will be happy to take your money off you and send you a CD anywhere on the globe.

This year there seems to be a few songs knocking around, none of which is capturing the popular imagination. The "official" song, "Don't Come Home Too Soon" is by Del Amitri and sounds just like you would expect a Del Amitri song to sound. It is not one for the terraces, but that doesn't seem to be the intention. As far as I can tell, it is a heartfelt prayer from the sheep of Scotland for a lengthy involvement so that they can have a break for a few weeks. At least Justin Currie (who wrote the song) is a fan who goes to the matches.

Yabba Daba Doo

It was 1974 and we hadn't been to the World Cup Finals for many years. It was a time of flared trousers and an exceptionally good Scottish team. Our first attempt at a World Cup single didn't match the team, however, and showed shocking tactical naiveté. More Bay City Rollers than Rolling Stones it adopted a primitive attacking formation in an attempt to be a crowd pleaser. Because this song accompanied the dawning of a new age in our national game it is reproduced in its entirety. There were signs of promise, however, and I draw your attention to the ground-breaking third verse which was a great inspiration to Frankie Goes To Hollywood: "Oh! Oh! Oh!, Come on!" and "Stick it in, stick it in, stick it in". Quod erat demonstrandum...

Ya-ba-da-ba-doo
We support the boys in blue
And it's easy, easy
We are gonna follow you,
And it's easy, easy
Ya-ba-da-ba-day
We'll be with you all the way
Singing easy.

Ring-a-ding-a-ding
There goes Willy on the wing
And it's easy, easy
Ring-a-ding-a-ding
Knock it over for the king
And it's easy, easy
Ring-a-ding-a-dong
Now we know we can't go wrong
And it's easy

Come on
Now we're really gonna roll
Gotta get another goal
Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on
Just another one to win
Stick it in! Stick it in!
Stick it in!
Eeny-meeny-mo
Get the ball and have a go
And it's easy, easy
Eeny-meeny-mo
We'll let everybody know
That it's easy, easy
Eeny-meeny-my
Now we're really flying high
And it's easy

Ally's Tartan Army

Written and performed by Andy Cameron, a classic of its time. The b-side was "I Wanna Be A Punk Rocker (but ma mammy willnae let me), which was a great personal favourite and was played on the John Peel Show. This song is here by popular request. Please accept my humble apologies for any inaccuracies and omissions from the lyrics. I'm doing this from memory which had, until now, erased everything to do with Argentina in 1978 apart from the game against the Netherlands....

We're on the march wi Ally's Army,
We're gaun tae the Argentine,
And we'll really shake them up,
When we win the World Cup,
'Cos Scotland is the greatest football team

and that, the chorus, is as much as I can remember apart form the odd line and memorable couplet, such as,

We're representing Britain, (no me, pal - ed)
And we're gaun tae do or die,
'Cos England cannae do it,
'Cos they couldnae qualify.

..and

He's our Mohammed Ali, he's Alistair McLeod!
Oh, we're on the...

...and off we went untroubled by thoughts of McQueen's injury, Rioch's loss of form and anyone from Peru, especially yon fellow Cubillas. In spite of all that, I think it was a great World Cup song, especially for us because it had the passion and totally unjustifiable optimism of the Tartan Army. And as for Ally McLeod, here's to you, man. He talked like the fan he was. And anyone who can say that the Maracana Stadium reminded him of Somerset Park must have something going for him.


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7. Songs For The Troops Fae the Touns
It was suggested that some of the battalions and platoons of this glorious disorganisation that is the Tartan Army might like some songs from their own neck of the woods. This section is very scant and, besides, it's not for me to tell you what to sing. What are you singing in the buses and pubs before and after the matches that are specific to where you come from? Suggestions for appropriate songs will be gratefully received.

West of Scotland Tartan Army (WESTA)

Glasgow is well served for songs, so we might as well begin with...

I Belong To Glasgow

This tale of the inebriated socialist was written by Will Fyffe, himself from Dundee. A man of sharp wit, he once commented that you could tell a Glasgow lawyer by his square-toed shoes, the type that let you stand closer to the bar.

I've been wi' a few o' my cronies,
One or two pals o' my ain;
We went in a hotel,
We did very well,
Aye, and then we came out once again;
And then we went into anither,
That is the reason I'm fou;
We had six deoch-an-doruses, then sang a chorus,
Just listen, I'll sing it to you:

Chorus:
I belong to Glasgow,
Dear old Glasgow town;
But there's something the matter wi' Glasgow,
For it's goin' round and round
I'm only a common old working lad,
As anyone can see,
But when I get a couple o' drinks on a Saturday,
Glasgow belongs to me!

There's nothing in being teetotal,
And saving a shilling or two;
If your money you spend,
You've nothing to lend,
Isn't that all the better for you;
There's nae harm in taking a drappie,
It ends all your trouble and strife;
And it gives ye the feeling that when you land home,
Well, you don't care a hang for your wife! (Ch)

This adaptation of the old Harry Lauder favourite, "I Love A Lassie", has also been suggested for Glasgow, since it mentions Maryhill, I suppose....

I know a lassie, a bonnie, bonnie lassie,
She's as tight as a pebble on the wall,
She's got legs like a spider and I would love to ride her,
She's Mary fae Maryhill !!

Edinburgh Tartan Army (ETA)

Our capital presents us with a problem as it is not often revered in song. The is a poem by Robert Burns, "Address To Edinburgh", which begins, "Edina! Scotia's darling seat!". This encouraged the manufacturer of toilet seats to name one particular model "The Edina". Hmmm. Dair suggests "Barratt's Privateers" on the basis that it is the only song he knows of that says anything nice about Edinburgh, but it's a bit long. There are plenty of Proclaimers songs, e.g. "Sunshine On Leith", but they're not really terracing material. We could have Hamish Henderson's "The Ghillie Mhor", sent as greetings from the blacksmiths of Leith to the blacksmiths of Kiev. A great song but quite difficult to sing. Any Suggestions?

North of Scotland Tartan Army (NOSTA)

The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen

A straightforward choice for the footsoldiers from the Granite City. This was written by an English lady who never saw Aberdeen let alone the Aurora Borealis. A popular song with Aberdonians nonetheless.

When I was a lad, a tiny wee lad, my mother said to me
Come see the Northern Lights my boy, they're bright as they can be
She called them the heavenly dancers, merry dancers in the sky
I'll never forget that wonderful sight, they made the heavens bright

Chorus
The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen, mean home sweet home to me
The Northern Lights of Aberdeen are what I long to see
I've been a wanderer all of my life and many a sight I've seen
God speed the day when I'm on my way to my home in Aberdeen

I've wandered in many far off lands and travelled many a mile
I've missed the folk I've cherished most, the joy of a friendly smile
It warms up the hand of a wanderer, the clasp of a welcoming hand
To greet me when I return, home to my native land (Ch)

Lunnain Albanaich

Ah, what to do for the Loony Alba? Do we really want to have them singing chirpy Cockney songs in their best Dick van Dyke accents? (I don't know about you, but I thought he had Londoners to a "T" in "Mary Poppins".) Perhaps "Loch Lomond" would be appropriate for those exiled in England.

And what about Dundee, Inverness, Killie, Orkney, Shetland, all of the Hebrides (Inner and Outer), etc.? I will finish this section for now with a song for Kirkintilloch....

There Are No Pubs In Kirkintilloch

I don't know who wrote this. I got it from an early Corries record when the duo was a trio.

Chorus:
In Kirkintilloch there's nae pubs
And I'm sure you'll wonder why,
My brother and me, we went on a spree,
We drank the pubs a' dry, a' dry,
Drank the pubs a' dry.

My Granpaw he worked down the pit
And so did my faither tae,
You work like a mule when you leave the school
And you drink on a Saturday, my lads,
Drink on a Saturday (Ch)

The gaffer doon the pit my lads,
Could scarce believe his een,
For my brother and me we howked mair coal,
Than his latest cuttin' machine, my lads,
His latest cuttin' machine (Ch)

My faither he was a Glesga man
And my mither come fae Troon,
They baith did say the ither day,
It's time you settled doon, my lads,
It's time you settled doon. (Ch)

So I think I'll just get married lads
And hae a family tae,
Then we'll use our mits and work in the pits
And drink on a Saturday my lads,
Drink on a Saturday. (Ch)


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8. Some musical (some less so) links which you may find interesting or useful
Ceolas: an extremely good Celtic music archive from Stanford University. Some of the song links for melodies used in this page come via this site. If you are a native of the Celtic countries, or indeed, if you live on the Anglo-Saxon fringe of the civilised world and would like to know more about culture and music, this is a very good site. If you would like to find a song which is not obscure, the chances are it will be here http://celtic.stanford.edu/ceolas.html.
Creation Records http://www.creation.co.uk/. Not really Scottish per se, but founder Alan McGee is Scottish and they do have lots of Scottish bands on their books. Where to go if you're a hip and trendy young thing.

Dunkeld Records http://www.dunkeld.co.uk/ A very good site indeed with video and audio clips. Where to get those Dougie MacLean CDs.

Gaberlunzie are the men responsible for "The Happy Hooligans of Wembley". Check them out at http://www.demon.co.uk/gaberlunzie/

Gaelic HomePage http://sunsite.unc.edu/gaelic/gaelic.html . General cultural thing covering the six Celtic languages. You will find some interesting music links.

Dick Gaughan's HomePage http://www.dickalba.demon.co.uk/. The best Scottish singer around, this is a great site with a good song archive on it and lots of good links.

Greentrax Records - I can't find an up-to-date link for this excellent record company. Greentrax brings you much of what's best, including MacUmba

Incredible String Band at http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/town/square/ac455/index.htm. This is what happens when talented Scottish folkie types discover 5-hydroxytryptamine antagonists. Not really anything to do with the Tartan Army, but these old hippies deserve a mention. After all, they did bring you "The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter".

Lismor Records at http://www.lismor.co.uk/. This also takes you to Iona records

MacUmba at http://pro1.taynet.co.uk/users/macumba/records.htp. Bagpipes and a samba beat. Go to this site, buy the CD. This is as essential part of your kit for the World Cup as your black market ticket and your best French swally. Would I lie to you?

Temple Records at http://www.rootsworld.com/temple/.

Tocher is a magazine produced by the School of Scottish Studies at Edinburgh University. If you are minded, this is a way into folk tales and songs in Gaelic and Scots. There are transcripts from the magazine and samples of singing and storytelling. Nothing about football (nice wee shinty tale, though) which is a serious omission from a place which is recording Scottish culture. I look forward to Hamish Henderson going out to record Arthur Montford for history. What a stramash... http://www.pearl.arts.ed.ac.uk/Tocher/browse.html.

Veteran at http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/VETERAN/scotscat.htm. This is the Scottish section of a mail order company. There is a good catalogue serious folk music here, e.g. Hamish Henderson, Jeannie Robertson, bothy ballads.

...and lastly, if these don't satisfy you, try Fred Waldron's WebSites about Scottish music at http://www.erols.com/fwaldron/scmusic.htm.

Home made kilt. OK, you had a bit too much to drink after we duff up Brazil in the opening match. In a fit of bonhomie, fostering the good relations for which the Tartan Army is famous all over the world you've swapped your best drinking kilt for a hula skirt from a passing marching band from Hawaii. What to do? Easy, follow the simple instructions on this page and you will have a traditional kilt at http://sunsite.unc.edu/gaelic/john/greatkilt/greatkilt.html. Any piece of fabric will do (hotel sheets, for example), but tartan is generally preferred.


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9. ... and finally, don't let's be beastly to the English
My, wasn't there a lot of breast-beating regarding our singing about standing up and sitting down whilst out in France. It seems that in this new, huggie-feelie world we can't say a bad word about anyone. I think it is preferable to celebrate Scotland rather than measure ourselves against an impoverished yardstick, i.e. England. But, far be it from this songbook to be anything other than politically correct. Henceforth, not a nasty word about anyone will appear. I have therefore sought inspiration from one of England's greatest songwriters of this century and adapted one of his classics to celebrate our new, enlightened attitude. The tune is sort of, dum dum de dum de dum de dum dum...

Don’t let’s be beastly to the English,
When the Cup is ultimately won.
It was just those nasty tabloids
That encouraged them to fight,
And all their "pomp and circumstance"
Is far worse than its bite.
Let’s be meek to them
And turn the other cheek to them
And try to bring out their latent sense of fun.
Let’s give them what they think they’re due
And say we wish they’d battled through,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum.

We must be kind, and with an open mind,
We must endeavour to play the game,
To let the English know that when the fighting’s over
They were not the ones who were to blame.
We must be sweet, and tactful and discrete,
And when they’ve suffered defeat,
We mustn’t let them feel upset,
Or ever get the feeling that we’re cross with them or hate them,
Our future policy must be to never bait them.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the English,
For schadenfreude it really isn’t done,
Let us treat them very kindly
As we would a valued friend,
And strong supportive shoulders to the vanquished we must lend.
Let’s be sweet to them and day by day repeat to them
That hooliganism simply isn’t done.
Let’s help the filthy clowns again
To smash up foreign towns again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum.

We must be just and win their love and trust
And in addition we must be wise,
And ask the smashed up towns to help us to applaud them,
That would be a wonderful surprise!
For many years, they’ve been in floods of tears,
Because the poor little dears
Have been so wronged and only longed
To cheat the world, deplete the world and beat the world to blazes,
This is the moment when we ought to sing their praises.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the English,
For you can’t deprive a bully of his fun.
Though they were a little naughty in the city of Marseilles,
It would have been unkind to keep the rascals from their play.
Let’s be free with them and give up the BBC to them,
We mustn’t prevent them basking in the sun.
Let’s soften their defeat again
And let them have a bleat again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum.

Don’t let’s be beastly to the English,
When another sporting season has begun.
We must send them our best wishes,
Give them all the cheer they need,
For an English fan’s intentions can be always guaranteed.
Let’s accede to them and all our sport concede to them,
They’re better than us at honest manly fun.
Let’s let them feel as swell again
And bore us all to hell again,
But don’t let’s be beastly to the scum.